London transport stories...
By egcellentTramp at 2013-08-12 18:59:42
London, UK
74 replies
11309 views
Time on the night bus to Roterhithe as two drunk South Africans decided to put on a extravaganza that resulted in one doing a head first slide the length of the stairs lying on his back, thumping his head on the partition. As he lays there stunned, his mate begins urinating on him from the higher deck. Man on stairs ends this picture by opening his chops and drinking the stream of urine raining down from above. Mind you I had been in London two weeks at this time, and thought I could look ahead to these types of events more often!
It was about 10 years ago and one night whilst returning home drunk on the bus I was stopped as I got off by a guy.
you got a phone? did, and I was positive I was about to get 'jacked'. Being 15, pre-social media, a mobile phone was an vital tool for socialising and not an straightforward thing get hold of. I had been robbed before, I don't recall what phone I had at the time however with the mixture of fear being uncontactable/loosing numbers and dutch courage; I stood my ground.
again, got a phone for me blud?
I replied.
know you have man, come I just want to use your phone. this age I was already close to 6ft, perhaps about 16stone and playing rugby past my age. I was well used to going up alongside people and capable of looking after myself.
He reached towards my coat pocket, I reacted forcefully and drove my hands into his shoulders, pushing him backward agains the fence behind. The quiet grouping of people waiting for busses took notices where before they we doing the lot not to.
I can't think of what I said or he said, but I ended up reaching down into this outside jacket pocket and pulling out his mobile. I pocketed it and threw him to the ground.
you, how does it feel? I shouted, and immediately walked away.
As I passed the people waiting I could hear them giggle. I walked away feeling like I was made of steel. The bus stop was beside a tube station, I had to take a train to get home. I recall rushing down the stairs to catch one as before the doors closed and as I sat down in my seat the adrenaline subsided to the realisation of what had just happened.
I pulled from my pocket his 6600, brand new at the time and one of the first camera phones that could record short videos. I was all of a sudden elevated to having the coolest mobile phone in school, an achievement until that time kept for the rich kids.
My favourite thing about that phone was the pictures he had of him posing like a 'badman' matched with his soppy texts to his 'gurl', who he had a amount of pictures also. She was ugly as sin but to him she was his 'princess'.
Thinking back I ought to have given the phone to the police as It was doubtless stolen, though I guess if it wasn't then I would have committed the crime. There was noway I was letting go of it, I had a camera phone and now the means to film our stunts in school.
I doubt this fits your animation project but Its my best story from public transport. Its been a while since i've told it and remembering it brought a grin to my face, so cheers.
I once caught an N29 from Camden to Manor House then went to the back (this is on one of the old bendy buses) to sit down only to come across a foot of sand covering the back seat and a road cone. I wasn't surprised, it was the N29 after all.
Edit: Calmly sat on the sand and proceeded to sip my can.
On the victoria line, late one saturday night some people offered me cake. It was in a vast cake box, looks like it had come from a party.
So I had some cake - it was nice - vanilla sponge together with buttercream and icing.
I didnt die, I didnt awaken up in a tub of ice with no kidneys, I didnt leap from a rooftop shouting am a golden-haired god I just had some nice cake - yet a lot of folks freak out when I tell them that story.
So I had some cake - it was nice - vanilla sponge together with buttercream and icing.
I didnt die, I didnt awaken up in a tub of ice with no kidneys, I didnt leap from a rooftop shouting am a golden-haired god I just had some nice cake - yet a lot of folks freak out when I tell them that story.
last year a tipsy lass talked to me while on my way to work. Man, did I gave her the time that evening! it was about 15 past 9.
I was heading into work one day by a rather hectic piccadilly line train.
I was reading my book, stuffed up next to the door, and the woman infront kept turning around and staring towards me. I wasn't in close proximity to her, there was enough room between us so I wasn't encroaching on her space.
Then she started mouthing words at me, going to die coming for you up there which point she pointed to the roof of the tube train and stared into my soul at the same time as doing so. Then she started making a handman's noose gesture.
I kept a stiff upper lip and ignored the mad out of her. It's the tube during rush hour, i'm not going to make a scene.
When I was a young man, I had a job that required me to wear a suit and tie (incidental, but scene-setting... I look all smart 'n' stuff). I got my tube home from Tottenham Court Road each evening, and as I'm walking down the steps onto the platform - with the train waiting - I hear the buzz as the doors start to close. I sprint forward, fling myself at the door and manage - I'm not quite definite how - to end up on my backside on the platform with my leg jammed in the closing door. I lie there for a few seconds. The door opens. I get on my feet, walk into the carriage, and look up.
Everyone. Everyone is staring at me. 300 people, packed carriage, plus - to a man and woman - they've all caught this ad hoc piece of sub Cirque du Soleil. And then somebody starts clapping, and the whole carriage goes off in a round of more or less good-natured laughter with applause. What can you do except bow, as elegantly and genially as possible? Still smirk when I think about it.
