London transport stories... | Net Of The Woods | The world's hyperlocal forum

2013-08-16 21:51:09

sofiaTheWatermelon
Joined: 2013-08-02 16:42:06
Posts: 4

Drunk, heading home from workplace christmas party, get onto the tube later than usual on a Friday night. There's a girl, also drunk, holding court in the carriage - everybody's a tad embarrassed, but I don't care since I'm shitfaced. Start talking to her, we're mutually from Manchester, crack a few jokes.

Got off at my stop, she gets off as well. you live here too? I ask. she says, and slips her arm round mine. Score!

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2013-08-17 01:09:09

jamSam
Joined: 2013-08-12 18:57:12
Posts: 5

I was going into work about 6 months ago, I hit the Hammersmith and City from Hammersmith. Rush hour, everyday press towards to doors of the train. I go in and unbelievably see an unfilled seat. I grab it, regardless of being a young man with no disabilities or mid-term pregnancy needs.

On sitting, I smell the recognizable pungent wisp of tobacco smoke, and sure enough, the gentleman next to me is smoking a fag. plus drinking a can of stella. And judging by the smell of it, simultaenously pissing his pants.

Without a word I stand and trundle down the carriage. No one says a word actually. apart from this gentleman.

A DIRTY SLUT! He shouts. A DIRTY SLUT Incidentally, but not unsurprisingly perhaps, this is delivered in a thick scottish brogue.

A DIRTY SLUT He continues. A DIRTY SLUT He's only on until Shepherd's Bush, except he realises suddenly he wasn't receiving the reaction he craved. Before disembarking, he turned it up.

A DIRTY SLUT AND I LOVE THE BIG FAT STINKING COCKS! exited the train with no looking back. Godspeed, Trampy Mcdougall, and Good Luck.

Of course it would have to be Shepherd's Bush.

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2013-08-17 04:31:09

collooz
Joined: 2013-08-02 16:37:33
Posts: 16

Time on the night bus to Roterhithe as two drunk South Africans decided to put on a extravaganza that resulted in one doing a head first slide the length of the stairs lying on his back, thumping his head on the partition. As he lays there stunned, his mate begins urinating on him from the higher deck. Man on stairs ends this picture by opening his chops and drinking the stream of urine raining down from above. Mind you I had been in London two weeks at this time, and thought I could look ahead to these types of events more often!

This is legit.

source: South African alcoholic who drinks too much and does'stupid stuff around London.

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2013-08-17 06:58:09

collooz
Joined: 2013-08-02 16:37:33
Posts: 16

One morning this lass clearly doing the train ride of shame. Was calling all her friends saying how she was so aggravated by one the guys in the group that night and how he was following her all over and would not leave her alone and how she did not want to go out if he was ever there.

This was nevertheless the guy she banged last night. He sent her packing first thing in the morning.

I'm not truly sure if she was being intelligent or stupid.

please elaborate.

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2013-08-17 11:21:09

smartFaceThing
Joined: 2013-07-28 01:00:21
Posts: 28

I have one

I hopped on to a 121 bus in Woodgreen and showed my travel card, the bus driver looked up and said on a sec So I stopped and he tells me he wants a favour, I was like ok... He passes me a phone and tells me to ring his girlfriend and ask if the dates for New York are okay, because he can't be on the phone whilst driving. Fairly undemanding task I assumed, so I get his girlfriends number and dial. She picks up and I start to make clear who I am when she starts screaming, have you done to Reggie!! Reggie!! I say Reggie drives a bus right well im on the bus better be okay! This repeated for 10/15min before I gave up. The whole time I was sure I was on a covert camera show. It was surreal, and I never found out the dates were all right

Fuck Reggie the bus driver and his at the time girlfriend

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2013-08-17 15:22:09

coreBore
Joined: 2013-08-01 22:56:52
Posts: 15

My gf on the met line to harrow on the hill sat crossways from a woman eating a bag of crisps in a unusual manner.

She opened the family size bag wide as she could then pushed her mug into the bag whilst she pushed the crisps through the bottom of the bag. She pushes the crisps into her chops and wipes her face off with a tissue.

Apparently she had her eyes closed all the time and quietly moaned. She's seen her twice now doing it both times.

It was morning both times if that's relevant.

Eta: another time my train got stuck between two others at separate platforms. We had to go out through the drivers cubicle http://i.imgur.com/FF4oABM.jpg

I need to see this before I pass on

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2013-08-17 19:12:09

amberunwritten
Joined: 2013-07-28 19:16:27
Posts: 14

One morning this lass clearly doing the train ride of shame. Was calling all her friends saying how she was so aggravated by one the guys in the group that night and how he was following her all over and would not leave her alone and how she did not want to go out if he was ever there.

This was nevertheless the guy she banged last night. He sent her packing first thing in the morning.

I'm not truly sure if she was being intelligent or stupid.

please elaborate.

Not sure what more you want from an overheard call. And it seems to paint the picture fairly well.

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2013-08-17 19:52:09

collooz
Joined: 2013-08-02 16:37:33
Posts: 16

One morning this lass clearly doing the train ride of shame. Was calling all her friends saying how she was so aggravated by one the guys in the group that night and how he was following her all over and would not leave her alone and how she did not want to go out if he was ever there.

This was nevertheless the guy she banged last night. He sent her packing first thing in the morning.

I'm not truly sure if she was being intelligent or stupid.

please elaborate.

Not sure what more you want from an overheard call. And it seems to paint the picture fairly well.

how would he/she know that he sent her packing even if , the timeline seems off.

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2013-08-17 23:55:09

ninjaprancing
Joined: 2013-07-30 13:59:15
Posts: 21

My gf on the met line to harrow on the hill sat crossways from a woman eating a bag of crisps in a unusual manner.

She opened the family size bag wide as she could then pushed her mug into the bag whilst she pushed the crisps through the bottom of the bag. She pushes the crisps into her chops and wipes her face off with a tissue.

Apparently she had her eyes closed all the time and quietly moaned. She's seen her twice now doing it both times.

It was morning both times if that's relevant.

Eta: another time my train got stuck between two others at separate platforms. We had to go out through the drivers cubicle http://i.imgur.com/FF4oABM.jpg

I need to see this before I pass on

I've asked her to video it if she sees it again.

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2013-08-18 04:56:09

habitualbobsleigh
Joined: 2013-07-28 19:25:27
Posts: 12

I got on the Jubilee line at Canary Wharf and found myself in an side seat, almost smashed into the plastic by a businessman taking up more than his stake of the space. He was bleary-eyed, inebriated, and wildly gesturing. At some stage in the journey towards Waterloo, he looked at me out of the corner of his eye, made little guns out of his hands, and started waving them about like a cowboy. This was accompanied with the suitable pew pew sounds.

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