London transport stories...
By egcellentTramp at 2013-08-12 18:59:42
London, UK
74 replies
11308 views
On sitting, I smell the recognizable pungent wisp of tobacco smoke, and sure enough, the gentleman next to me is smoking a fag. plus drinking a can of stella. And judging by the smell of it, simultaenously pissing his pants.
Without a word I stand and trundle down the carriage. No one says a word actually. apart from this gentleman.
A DIRTY SLUT! He shouts. A DIRTY SLUT Incidentally, but not unsurprisingly perhaps, this is delivered in a thick scottish brogue.
A DIRTY SLUT He continues. A DIRTY SLUT He's only on until Shepherd's Bush, except he realises suddenly he wasn't receiving the reaction he craved. Before disembarking, he turned it up.
A DIRTY SLUT AND I LOVE THE BIG FAT STINKING COCKS! exited the train with no looking back. Godspeed, Trampy Mcdougall, and Good Luck.
I once got on the tube vaguely tipsy, and as I ambled drunkenly over to a number of seats I barely registered that for some reason the carriage seemed bunched at one end, there only seemed to be one other human being sat in my vacant (Picadilly line, you know what I mean), but the other end had lots of standing people. As I sit down I realise, its not one person sitting down, opposite row but 2 along, but a young Japanese couple, the guy moaning, almost passed-out drunk and the girl kneeling in front of the guy with her head obscured in his lap, doing the obvious. Now, I felt too self-conscious to stand directly up again and walk away, so I did what any embarrassed tube traveller does, and pretended to fool around with my mobile phone for the next 5 minutes. I never got to see their response at realising the rest of the carriage was watching them and chuckling away, but felt bad that everybody else there thought I was watching. (Although I'll admit I was, a little bit).
Without a word I stand and trundle down the carriage. No one says a word actually. apart from this gentleman.
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